While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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