You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
no you cant smoke seaweed
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
