it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
