I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm always down for nudity.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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