Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
