OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
