Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
