Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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