There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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