I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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