What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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