i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
you made out with another girl for some wings
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
