I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
