You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
