please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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