Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
