Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
did i walk over a car last night?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
