never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
