Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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