If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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