just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
