Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
