You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
