hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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