Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
