Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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