Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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