i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
