It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
