I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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