Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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