my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Are we still banned from the library?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
