when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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