Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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