i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
