in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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