Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
