I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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