happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
