im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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