is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Randomize
