Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
