Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
