This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
