elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
