i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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