Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
