My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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