I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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