My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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