So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
