he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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