You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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