maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The air was thick with penises
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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